帝王宠妓-第13部分
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一进门，冯茵茵的咒骂就没停过，不仅如此，屋子里所有能“飞”的东西全都“飞”向刚进门的一对男女，包括扫把啦、锅铲什么的，差点没连电冰箱都“飞”过来。
“妈，我们家没养狗。”岳幼堇忍不住实话实说。
“哼！死丫头！还没嫁人呢，胳臂就往外弯了是不？”她不顶嘴还好，这一顶嘴冯茵茵便更恼了，随手丢过来一张CD当飞盘射，“你管我家里有没有养狗？让老娘气极了，自己去生一只咬人行不行？”她气昏了，口不择言。
“呃……伯母，人是生不出小狗的……”谭恪亚急得大粒汗、小粒汗，从进门就找不到空隙插嘴，只能被动地让岳幼堇拉着他左躲右闪，好几次差点被正中目标——他俊俏的脸蛋。好不容易寻到开口的时机，可惜却是火上浇油。
“你还敢给我纠正？！”一只拖鞋正中谭恪亚的膝盖，冯茵茵立刻乘胜追击地再丢另外一只，“没大没小的混小子，亏你还当幼儿园园长，教坏国家未来栋梁！”
岳家的客厅一团混乱，岳幼堇看了无奈地喊着，“妈，你再继续丢下去，等我嫁出去可没人帮你整理……”
“你给我管！”冯茵茵暴跳如雷地大吼大叫，“没人帮我，我不会自己帮自……啊？你刚才说了什么？”老人家终于气喘吁吁地暂时休息，手上还高举着电熨斗。
“有吗？”装傻地摸摸鼻子，和谭恪亚交握的手藏在背后，“我好像没说话耶。”
“没？”冯茵茵愣住了，才刚放下的电熨斗又重新高举过头，“没，没就再来啊！”待她摆好投球姿势…
“伯母！”谭恪亚差点没让冯茵茵的大动作吓死，满额冷汗地举手阻止，“有。有啦，幼堇有话要跟你说啦！”再不说就要出人命了！
“当真？”这回冯茵茵用的是京剧的口吻。没办法，她兴趣广泛嘛！“好好好，你们两个好好给我一个交代！”
扯了扯身后交握的手，谭格亚暗示岳幼童开口。岳幼堇调皮地看他一眼，发现他眸底全是求饶的意味，忍不住轻笑出声。
“少在那边给我眉目传情啦！”冯茵茵可生气了，晃了晃手上的电熨斗，“你们是欺负我老人家是吧，呜，我歹命啊……歹命——”瞬间变成黄梅戏的哭调了。
谭恪亚和岳幼堇同时翻个大白眼，同样感到浑身无力。
“说不说？”谭恪亚低声问道。
“一起说？”这是她的回应，也是低低的。
两人相视而笑，决定给冯茵茵一个惊喜大礼——
“妈，我们要结婚了！”说完后，两人屏气凝神地等待冯茵茵的反应。
只见她老人家将电熨斗丢到沙发上，左手按臂、右手晃臂，一副累极了的模样。“死小孩，干嘛不会早点说？害得我一把老骨头都快散了！
在两个目瞪口呆的小辈面前，冯茵茵轻松自若地跷起二“娘”腿，喝茶喽——
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