[科幻]宿主-第52部分

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clear　liquid　with　the　tang　of　onions。　As　I　leaned　closer；　I　could　see　darker　chunks　on　the　bottom。　Beside　
this　were　three　stubby　white　tubes。　I　guessed　they　were　vegetables；　but　I　didn’t　recognize　the　variety。

　It　took　only　seconds　for　me　to　make　these　discoveries；　but　even　in　that　short　time；　my　stomach　nearly　
jumped　through　my　mouth　trying　to　reach　the　food。

　I　ripped　into　the　bread。　It　was　very　dense；　studded　with　whole…grain　kernels　that　caught　in　my　teeth。　The　
texture　was　gritty；　but　the　flavor　was　wonderfully　rich。　I　couldn’t　remember　anything　tasting　more　
delicious　to　me；　not　even　my　mushed…up　Twinkies。　My　jaw　worked　as　fast　as　it　could；　but　I　swallowed　
most　of　the　mouthfuls　of　tough　bread　half…chewed。　I　could　hear　each　mouthful　hit　my　stomach　with　a　
gurgle。　It　didn’t　feel　as　good　as　I　thought　it　would。　Too　long　empty；　my　stomach　reacted　to　the　food　with　
disfort。

　I　ignored　that　and　moved　on　to　the　liquid—it　was　soup。　This　went　down　easier。　Aside　from　the　onions　
I’d　smelled；　the　taste　was　mild。　The　green　chunks　were　soft　and　spongy。　I　drank　it　straight　from　the　bowl　
and　wished　the　bowl　were　deeper。　I　tipped　it　back　to　make　sure　I’d　gotten　every　drop。

　The　white　vegetables　were　crunchy　in　texture；　woody　in　taste。　Some　kind　of　root。　They　weren’t　as　
satisfying　as　the　soup　or　as　tasty　as　the　bread；　but　I　was　grateful　for　their　bulk。　I　wasn’t　full—not　
close—and　I　probably　would　have　started　on　the　tray　next　if　I　thought　I’d　be　able　to　chew　through　it。

　It　didn’t　occur　to　me　until　I　was　finished　that　they　shouldn’t　be　feeding　me。　Not　unless　Jared　had　lost　the　
confrontation　with　the　doctor。　Though　why　would　Jared　be　my　guard　if　that　were　the　case？

　I　slid　the　tray　away　when　it　was　empty；　cringing　at　the　noise　it　made。　I　stayed　pressed　against　the　back　
wall　of　my　bubble　as　Jared　reached　in　to　retrieve　it。　This　time　he　didn’t　look　at　me。　

　

　I　can’t　believe　he　hit　me；Melanie　mused；　her　thought　incredulous　rather　than　resentful。　She　was　not　
over　the　surprise　of　it　yet。　I　hadn’t　been　surprised　in　the　first　place。　Of　course　he　had　hit　me。

　I　wondered　where　you　were；I　answered。It　would　be　poor　manners　to　get　me　into　this　mess　and　
then　abandon　me。

　She　ignored　my　sour　tone。I　wouldn’t　have　thought　he’d　be　able　to　do　it；　no　matter　what。　I　don’t　
think　I　could　hit　him。

　Sure　you　could。　If　he’d　e　at　you　with　reflective　eyes；　you’d　have　done　the　same。　You’re　
naturally　violent。I　remembered　her　daydreams　of　strangling　the　Seeker。　That　seemed　like　months　ago；　
though　I　knew　it　was　only　days。　It　would　make　sense　if　it　had　been　longer。　It　ought　to　take　time　to　get　
oneself　stuck　in　such　a　disastrous　mire　as　the　one　I　was　in　now。

　Melanie　tried　to　consider　it　impartially。I　don’t　thinkso。　Not　Jared…　and　Jamie；　there’s　no　way　I　could　
hurt　Jamie；　even　if　he　was…　She　trailed　off；　hating　that　line　of　thought。

　I　considered　this　and　found　it　true。　Even　if　the　child　had　bee　something　or　someone　else；　neither　she　
nor　I　could　ever　raise　a　hand　to　him。

　That’s　different。　You’re　like…　a　mother。　Mothers　are　irrational　here。　Too　many　emotions　
involved。

　Motherhood　is　always　emotional—even　for　you　souls。

　I　didn’t　answer　that。

　What　do　you　think　is　going　to　happen　now？

　You’re　the　expert　on　humans；I　reminded　her。It’s　probably　not　a　good　thing　that　they’re　giving　me　
food。　I　can　think　of　only　one　reason　they’d　want　me　strong。

　The　few　specifics　I　remembered　of　historical　human　brutalities　tangled　in　my　head　with　the　stories　in　the　
old　newspaper　we’d　read　the　other　day。　Fire—that　was　a　bad　one。　Melanie　had　burned　all　the　
fingerprints　off　her　right　hand　once　in　a　stupid　accident；　grabbing　a　pan　she　hadn’t　realized　was　hot。　I　
remembered　how　the　pain　had　shocked　her—it　was　so　unexpectedly　sharp　and　demanding。

　It　was　just　an　accident；　though。　Quickly　treated　with　ice；　salves；　medicine。　No　one　had　done　it　on　
purpose；　continued　on　from　the　first　sickening　pain；　drawing　it　out　longer　and　longer…

　I’d　never　lived　on　a　planet　where　such　atrocities　could　happen；　even　before　the　souls　came。　This　place　
was　truly　the　highest　and　the　lowest　of　all　worlds—the　most　beautiful　senses；　the　most　exquisite　
emotions…　the　most　malevolent　desires；　the　darkest　deeds。　Perhaps　it　was　meant　to　be　so。　Perhaps　
without　the　lows；　the　highs　could　not　be　reached。　Were　the　souls　the　exception　to　that　rule？　Could　they　
have　the　light　without　the　darkness　of　this　world？

　I…　felt　something　when　he　hit　you；Melanie　interrupted。　The　words　came　slowly；　one　by　one；　as　if　she　

　

　I　felt　something；　too。It　was　amazing　how　natural　it　was　to　use　sarcasm　now；　after　spending　so　much　
time　with　Melanie。He’s　got　quite　a　backhand；　doesn’t　he？

　That’s　not　what　I　meant。　I　mean…She　hesitated　for　a　long　moment；　and　then　the　rest　of　the　words　
came　in　a　rush。I　thought　it　was　all　me—the　way　we　feel　about　him。　I　thought　I　was…　in　control　of　
that。

　The　thoughts　behind　her　words　were　clearer　than　the　words　themselves。

　You　thought　you　were　able　to　bring　me　here　becauseyouwanted　it　so　much。　That　you　were　
controlling　me　instead　of　the　other　way　around。　I　tried　not　to　be　annoyed。You　thought　you　were　
manipulating　me。

　Yes。The　chagrin　in　her　tone　was　not　because　I　was　upset；　but　because　she　did　not　like　being　wrong。　
But…

　I　waited。

　It　came　in　a　rush　once　more。You’re　in　love　with　him；　too；　separately　from　me。　It　feels　different　from　
the　way　I　feel。　Other。　I　didn’t　see　that　until　he　was　there　with　us；　until　you　saw　him　for　the　first　

time。　How　did　that　happen？　How　does　a　three…inch…long　worm　fall　in　love　with　a　human　being？

　Worm？

　Sorry。　I　guess　you　sort　of　have…　limbs。

　Not　really。　They’re　more　like　antennae。　And　I’m　quite　a　bit　longer　than　three　inches　when　they’re　

extended。

　My　point　is；　he’s　not　your　species。

　My　body　is　human；I　told　her。While　I’m　attached　to　it；　I’m　human；　too。　And　the　way　you　see　Jared　

in　your　memories…　Well；　it’s　all　your　fault。

　She　considered　that　for　a　moment。　She　didn’t　like　it　much。

　So　if　you　had　gone　to　Tucson　and　gotten　a　new　body；　you　wouldn’t　love　him　anymore　now？

　I　really；　really　hope　that’s　true。

　Neither　of　us　was　happy　with　my　answer。　I　leaned　my　head　against　the　top　of　my　knees。　Melanie　
changed　the　subject。

　At　least　Jamie　is　safe。　I　knew　Jared　would　take　care　of　him。　If　I　had　to　leave　him；　I　couldn’t　have　
left　him　in　better　hands。…　I　wish　I　could　see　him。

　I’m　not　asking　that！I　cringed　at　the　thought　of　the　responsethat　request　would　receive。

　At　the　same　time；　I　yearned　to　see　the　boy’s　face　for　myself。　I　wanted　to　be　sure　that　he　was　really　here；　

　

　Do　you　think　they　will　tell　him　that　I’m　here？Melanie　asked。

　Would　that　help　or　hurt　him？I　asked　back。

　Her　thought　was　a　whisper。I　don’t　know。…　I　wish　I　could　tell　him　that　I　kept　my　promise。

　You　certainly　did。I　shook　my　head；　amazed。No　one　can　say　that　you　didn’t　e　back；　just　like　
always。

　Thanks　for　that。Her　voice　was　faint。　I　couldn’t　tell　if　she　meant　for　my　words　now；　or　if　she　meant　the　
bigger　picture；　bringing　her　here。

　I　was　suddenly　exhausted；　and　I　could　feel　that　she　was；　too。　Now　that　my　stomach　had　settled　a　bit　and　
felt　almost　halfway　full；　the　rest　of　my　pains　were　not　sharp　enough　to　keep　me　awake。　I　hesitated　before　
moving；　afraid　to　make　any　noise；　but　my　body　wanted　to　uncurl　and　stretch　out。　I　did　so　as　silently　as　I　
could；　trying　to　find　a　piece　of　the　bubble　long　enough　for　me。　Finally；　I　had　to　stick　my　feet　almost　out　
the　round　opening。　I　didn’t　like　doing　it；　worried　that　Jared　would　hear　the　movement　close　to　him　and　
think　I　was　trying　to　escape；　but　he　didn’t　react　in　any　way。　I　pillowed　the　good　side　of　my　face　against　
my　arm；　tried　to　ignore　the　way　the　curve　of　the　floor　cramped　my　spine；　and　closed　my　eyes。

　I　think　I　slept；　but　if　I　did；　it　wasn’t　deeply。　The　sound　of　footsteps　was　still　very　far　away　when　I　came　
fully　awake。

　This　time　I　opened　my　eyes　at　once。　Nothing　had　changed—I　still　could　see　the　dull　blue　light　through　
the　round　hole；　I　still　could　not　see　if　Jared　was　outside　it。　Someone　was　ing　this　way—it　was　easy　to　
hear　that　the　footsteps　were　ing　closer。　I　pulled　my　legs　away　from　the　opening；　moving　as　quietly　as　
I　could；　and　curled　up　against　the　back　wall　again。　I　would　have　liked　to　be　able　to　stand；　it　would　have　
made　me　feel　less　vulnerable；　more　prepared　to　face　whatever　was　ing。　The　low　ceiling　of　the　cave　
bubble　would　barely　have　allowed　me　to　kneel。

　There　was　a　flash　of　movement　outside　my　prison。　I　saw　part　of　Jared’s　foot　as　he　rose　silently　to　his　
feet。

　“Ah。　Here　you　are；”　a　man　said。　The　words　were　so　loud　after　all　the　empty　silence　that　I　jumped。　I　
recognized　the　voice。　One　of　the　brothers　I’d　seen　in　the　desert—the　one　with　the　machete；　Kyle。

　Jared　didn’t　speak。

　“We’re　not　going　to　allow　this；　Jared。”　It　was　a　different　speaker；　a　more　reasonable　voice。　Probably　
the　younger　brother；　Ian。　The　brothers’　voices　were　very　similar—or　they　would　have　been；　if　Kyle　
weren’t　always　half　shouting；　his　tone　always　twisted　with　anger。　“We’ve　all　lost　somebody—hell；　we’ve　
all　lost　everybody。　But　this　is　ridiculous。”

　“If　you　won’t　let　Doc　have　it；　then　it’s　got　to　die；”　Kyle　added；　his　voice　a　growl。

　“You　can’t　keep　it　prisoner　here；”　Ian　continued。　“Eventually；　it　will　escape　and　we’ll　all　be　exposed。”　

　

　My　heart　pumped　hard　and　fast　as　I　understood　what　the　brothers　were　saying。　Jared　had　won。　I　was　
not　to　be　tortured。　I　was　not　to　be　killed—not　immediately；　anyway。　Jared　was　keeping　me　prisoner。

　It　seemed　a　beautiful　word　under　the　circumstances。

　I　told　you　he　would　protect　us。

　“Don’t　make　this　difficult；　Jared；”　said　a　new　male　voice　I　didn’t　recognize。　“It　has　to　be　done。”

　Jared　said　nothing。

　“We　don’t　want　to　hurt　you；　Jared。　We’re　all　brothers　here。　But　we　will　if　you　make　us。”　There　was　no　

bluff　in　Kyle’s　tone。　“Move　aside。”

　Jared　stood　rock　still。

　My　heart　started　thumping　faster　than　before；　jerking　against　my　ribs　so　hard　that　the　hammer