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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第46部分

小说: new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版) 字数: 每页4000字

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the hand I moved。 
〃What's that?〃 He traded hands; examining my right。 〃This is your funny scar; 
the cold one。〃 He looked at 
it closer; with new eyes; and gasped。 
〃Yes; it's what you think it is;〃 I said。 〃James bit me。〃 
His eyes bulged; and his face turned a strange; sallow color under the russet 
surface。 He looked like he 
was about to be sick。 
〃But if he bit you ? Shouldn't you be ?〃 He choked。 
〃Edward saved me twice;〃 I whispered。 〃He sucked the venom out—you know; like 
with a rattlesnake。〃 
I twitched as the pain lashed around the edges of the hole。 
But I wasn't the only one twitching。 I could feel Jacob's whole body trembling 
next to mine。 Even the car 
shook。 
〃Careful; Jake。 Easy。 Ca in down。〃 
〃Yeah;〃 he panted。 〃Calm。〃 He shook his head back and forth quickly。 After a 
moment; only his hands 
were shaking。 
〃You okay?〃 
〃Yeah; almost。 Tell me something else。 Give me something else to think about。〃 
〃What do you want to know?〃 
〃I don't know。〃 He had his eyes closed; concentrating。 〃The extra stuff I 
guess。 Did any of the other 
Cullens have extra talents? Like the mind reading?〃 
I hesitated a second。 This felt like a question he would ask of his spy; not 
his friend。 But what was the 
point of hiding what I knew? It didn't matter now; and it would help him 
control himself。 
So I spoke quickly; the image of Emily's ruined face in my mind; and the hair 
rising on my arms。 I couldn't 
imagine how the russet wolf would fit inside the Rabbit—Jacob would tear the 
whole garage apart if he 
changed now。 
〃Jasper could sort of control the emotions of the people around him。 Not in 
a bad way; just to calm 
someone down; that kind of thing。 It would probably help Paul a lot;〃 I added; 
teasing weakly。 〃And then 
Alice could see things that were going to happen。 The future; you know; but 
not absolutely。 The things 
she saw would change when someone changed the path they were on〃 
Like how she'd seen me dying and she'd seen me being one of them。 Two 
things that had not 
happened。 And one that never would。 My head started to spin—I couldn't seem 
to pull in enough oxygen 
from the air。 No lungs。 
Jacob was entirely in control now; very still beside me。 
〃Why do you do that?〃 he asked。 He tugged lightly at one of my arms; which was 
bound around my 
chest; and then gave up when it wouldn't e loose easily。 I hadn't even 
realized I'd moved them。 〃You 
do that when you're upset。 Why?〃 
〃It hurts to think about them;〃 I whispered。 〃It's like I can't breathe like 
I'm breaking into pieces〃It 
was bizarre how much I could tell Jacob now。 We had no more secrets。 
He smoothed my hair。 〃It's okay; Bella; it's okay。 I won't bring it up again。 
I'm sorry。〃 
〃I'm fine。〃 I gasped。 〃Happens all the time。 Not your fault。〃 
〃We're a pretty messed…up pair; aren't we?〃 Jacob said。 〃Neither one of us can 
hold our shape together 
right。〃 
〃Pathetic;〃 I agreed; still breathless。 
〃At least we have each other;〃 he said; clearly forted by the thought。 
I was forted; too。 〃At least there's that;〃 I agreed。 
And when we were together; it was fine。 But Jacob had a horrible; dangerous 
job he felt pelled to 
do; and so I was often alone; stuck in La Push for safety; with nothing to do 
to keep my mind off any of 
my worries。 
I felt awkward; always taking up space at Billy's。 I did some studying for 
another Calculus test that was 
ing up next week; but I could only look at math for so long。 When I didn't 
have something obvious to 
do in my hands; 
I felt like I ought to be making conversation with Billy—the pressure of 
normal societal rules。 But Billy 
wasn't one for filling up the long silences; and so the awkwardness continued。 
I tried hanging out at Emily's place Wednesday afternoon; for a change。 At 
first it was kind of nice。 Emily 
was a cheerful person who never sat still。 I drifted behind her while she 
flitted around her little house and 
yard; scrubbing at the spotless floor; pulling a tiny weed; fixing a broken 
hinge; tugging a string of wool 
through an ancient loom; and always cooking; too。 She plained lightly about 
the increase in the boys' 
appetites from all their extra running; but it was easy to see she didn't mind 
taking care of them。 It wasn't 
hard to be with her—after all; we were both wolf girls now。 
But Sam checked in after I'd been there for a few hours。 I only stayed long 
enough to ascertain that 
Jacob was fine and there was no news; and then I had to escape。 The aura of 
love and contentment that 
surrounded them was harder to take in concentrated doses; with no one else 
around to dilute it。 
So that left me wandering the beach; pacing the length of the rocky crescent 
back and forth; again and 
again。 
Alone time wasn't good for me。 Thanks to the new honesty with Jacob; I'd been 
talking and thinking 
about the Cullens way too much。 No matter how I tried to distract myself—and 
I had plenty to think of: I 
was honestly and desperately worried about Jacob and his wolf…brothers; I was 
terrified for Charlie and 
the others who thought they were hunting animals; I was getting in deeper and 
deeper with Jacob without 
ever having consciously decided to progress in that direction and I didn't 
know what to do about 
it—none of these very real; very deserving of thought; very pressing concerns 
could take my mind off the 
pain in my chest for long。 Eventually; I couldn't even walk anymore; because I 
couldn't breathe。 I sat 
down on a patch of semidry rocks and curled up in a ball。 
Jacob found me like that; and I could tell from his expression that he 
understood。 
〃Sorry;〃 he said right away。 He pulled me up from the ground and wrapped both 
arms around my 
shoulders。 I hadn't realized that I was cold until then。 His warmth made me 
shudder; but at least I could 
breathe with him there。 
〃I'm ruining your spring break;〃 Jacob accused himself as we walked back up 
the beach。 
〃No; you're not。 I didn't have any plans。 I don't think I like spring breaks; 
anyway。〃 
〃I'll take tomorrow morning off。 The others can run without me。 We'll do 
something fun。〃 
The word seemed out of place in my life right now; barely prehensible; 
bizarre。 〃Fun?〃 
〃Fun is exactly what you need。 Hmm〃 he gazed out across the heaving gray 
waves; deliberating。 As his 
eyes scanned the horizon; he had a flash of inspiration。 
〃Got it!〃 he crowed。 〃Another promise to keep。〃 
〃What are you talking about?〃 
He let go of my hand and pointed toward the southern edge of the beach; where 
the flat; rocky 
half…moon dead…ended against the sheer sea cliffs。 I stared; unprehending。 
〃Didn't I promise to take you cliff diving?〃 
I shivered。 
〃Yeah; it'll be pretty cold—not as cold as it is today。 Can you feel the 
weather changing? The pressure? 
It will be warmer tomorrow。 You up for it?〃 
The dark water did not look inviting; and; from this angle; the cliffs looked 
even higher than before。 
But it had been days since I'd heard Edward's voice。 That was probably part of 
the problem。 I was 
addicted to the sound of my delusions。 It made things worse if I went too long 
without them。 Jumping off 
a cliff was certain to remedy that situation。 
〃Sure; I'm up for it。 Fun。〃 
〃It's a date;〃 he said; and draped his arm around my shoulders。 
〃Okay—now let's go get you some sleep。〃 I didn't like the way the circles 
under his eyes were beginning 
to look permanently etched onto his skin。 
I woke early the next morning and snuck a change of clothes out to the truck。 
I had a feeling that Charlie 
would approve of today's plan just about as much as he would approve of the 
motorcycle。 
The idea of a distraction from all my worries had me almost excited。 Maybe it 
would be fun。 A date with 
Jacob; a date with Edward I laughed darkly to myself。 Jake could say what he 
wanted about us being 
a messed…up pair—I was the one who was truly messed up。 I made the werewolf 
seem downright 
normal。 
I expected Jacob to meet me out front; the way he usually did when my noisy 
truck announced my 
arrival。 When he didn't; I guessed that he might still be sleeping。 I would 
wait—let him get as much rest as 
he could。 He needed his sleep; and that would give the day time to warm a bit 
more。 Jake had been right 
about the weather; though; it had changed in the night。 A thick layer of 
clouds pressed heavily on the 
atmosphere now; making it almost sultry; it was warm and close under the gray 
blanket。 I left my sweater 
in the truck。 
I knocked quietly on the door。 
〃C'mon in; Bella;〃 Billy said。 
He was at the kitchen table; eating cold cereal。 
〃Jake sleeping?〃 
〃Er; no。〃 He set his spoon down; and his eyebrows pulled together。 
〃What happened?〃 I demanded。 I could tell from his expression that something 
had。 
〃Embry; Jared; and Paul crossed a fresh trail early this morning。 Sam and Jake 
took off to help。 Sam was 
hopeful—she's hedged herself in beside the mountains。 He thinks they have a 
good chance to finish this。〃 
〃Oh; no; Billy;〃 I whispered。 〃Oh; no。〃 
He chuckled; deep and low。 〃Do you really like La Push so well that you want 
to extend your sentence 
here?〃 
〃Don't make jokes; Billy。 This is too scary for that。〃 
〃You're right;〃 he agreed; still placent。 His ancient eyes were impossible 
to read。 〃This one's tricky。〃 
I bit my lip。 
〃It's not as dangerous for them as you think it is。 Sam knows what he's doing。 
You're the one that you 
should worry about。 The vampire doesn't want to fight them。 She's just trying 
to find a way around 
them to you。〃 
〃How does Sam know what he's doing?〃 I demanded; brushing aside his concern 
for me。 〃They've only 
killed just the one vampire—that could have been luck。〃 
〃We take what we do very seriously; Bella。 Nothing's been forgotten。 
Everything they need to know has 
been passed down from father to son for generations。〃 
That didn't fort me the way he probably intended it to。 The memory of 
Victoria; wild; catlike; lethal; 
was too strong in my head。 If she couldn't get around the wolves; she would 
eventually try to go through 
them。 
Billy went back to his breakfast; I sat down on the sofa and flipped aimlessly 
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