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new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第10部分

小说: new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版) 字数: 每页4000字

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the metal tab; Edward…side up。 
When I was done; I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope and 
penned a long thank…you 
letter to Renee。 
Edward still hadn't e over。 I didn't want to admit that he was the reason 
I'd stayed up so late; but of 
course he was。 I tried to remember the last time he'd stayed away like this; 
without an excuse; a phone 
call He never had。 
Again; I didn't sleep well。 
School followed the silent; frustrating; terrifying pattern of the last two 
days。 I felt relief when I saw 
Edward waiting for me in the parking lot; but it faded quickly。 He was no 
different; unless maybe more 
remote。 
It was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess。 My birthday already 
felt like the distant past。 If 
only Alice would e back。 Soon。 Before this got any more out of hand。 
But I couldn't count on that。 I decided that; if I couldn't talk to him today; 
really talk; then I was going to 
see Carlisle tomorrow。 I had to do something。 
After school; Edward and I were going to talk it out; I promised myself。 I 
wasn't accepting any excuses。 
He walked me to my truck; and I steeled myself to make my demands。 
〃Do you mind if I e over today?〃 he asked before we got to the truck; 
beating me to the punch。 
〃Of course not。〃 
〃Now?〃 he asked again; opening my door for me。 
〃Sure;〃 I kept my voice even; though I didn't like the urgency in his tone。 〃I 
was just going to drop a letter 
for Renee in the mailbox on the way。 I'll meet you there。〃 
He looked at the fat envelope on the passenger seat。 Suddenly; he reached over 
me and snagged it。 
〃I'll do it;〃 he said quietly。 〃And I'll still beat you there。〃 He smiled my 
favorite crooked smile; but it was 
wrong。 It didn't reach his eyes。 
〃Okay;〃 I agreed; unable to smile back。 He shut the door; and headed toward 
his car。 
He did beat me home。 He was parked in Charlie's spot when I pulled up in front 
of the house。 That was 
a bad sign。 He didn't plan to stay; then。 I shook my head and took a deep 
breath; trying to locate some 
courage。 
He got out of his car when I stepped out of the truck; and came to meet me。 He 
reached to take my 
book bag from me。 That was normal。 But he shoved it back onto the seat。 That 
was not normal。 
〃e for a walk with me;〃 he suggested in an unemotional voice; taking my 
hand。 
I didn't answer。 I couldn't think of a way to protest; but I instantly knew 
that I wanted to。 I didn't like 
this。 This is bad; this is very bad; the voice in my head repeated again and 
again。 
But he didn't wait for an answer。 He pulled me along toward the east side of 
the yard; where the forest 
encroached。 I followed unwillingly; trying to think through the panic。 It was 
what I wanted; I reminded 
myself。 The chance to talk it all through。 So why was the panic choking me? 
We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped。 We were barely on 
the trail—I could still 
see the house。 
Some walk。 
Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me; his expression unreadable。 
〃Okay; let's talk;〃 I said。 It sounded braver than it felt。 
He took a deep breath。 
〃Bella; we're leaving。〃 
I took a deep breath; too。 This was an acceptable option。 I thought I was 
prepared。 But I still had to ask。 
〃Why now? Another year—〃 
〃Bella; it's time。 How much longer could we stay in Forks; after all? Carlisle 
can barely pass for thirty; 
and he's claiming thirty…three now。 We'd have to start over soon regardless。〃 
His answer confused me。 I thought the point of leaving was to let his family 
live in peace。 Why did we 
have to leave if they were going? I stared at him; trying to understand what 
he meant。 
He stared back coldly。 
With a roll of nausea; I realized I'd misunderstood。 
〃When you say we—;〃 I whispered。 
〃I mean my family and myself。〃 Each word separate and distinct。 
I shook my head back and forth mechanically; trying to clear it。 He waited 
without any sign of 
impatience。 It took a few minutes before I could speak。 
〃Okay;〃 I said。 〃I'll e with you。〃 
〃You can't; Bella。 Where we're going It's not the right place for you。〃 
〃Where you are is the right place for me。〃 
〃I'm no good for you; Bella。〃 
〃Don't be ridiculous。〃 I wanted to sound angry; but it just sounded like I was 
begging。 〃You're the very 
best part of my life。〃 
〃My world is not for you;〃 he said grimly。 
〃What happened with Jasper—that was nothing; Edward! Nothing!〃 
〃You're right;〃 he agreed。 〃It was exactly what was to be expected。〃 
〃You promised! In Phoenix; you promised that you would stay—〃 
〃As long as that was best for you;〃 he interrupted to correct me。 
〃No! This is about my soul; isn't it?〃 I shouted; furious; the words exploding 
out of me—somehow it still 
sounded like a plea。 〃Carlisle told me about that; and I don't care; Edward。 I 
don't care! You can have 
my soul。 I don't want it without you—it's yours already!〃 
He took a deep breath and stared; unseeingly; at the ground for a long moment。 
His mouth twisted the 
tiniest bit。 When he finally looked up; his eyes were different; harder—like 
the liquid gold had frozen 
solid。 
〃Bella; I don't want you to e with me。〃 He spoke the words slowly and 
precisely; his cold eyes on 
my face; watching as I absorbed what he was really saying。 
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times; sifting 
through them for their real 
intent。 
〃You don't want me?〃 I tried out the words; confused by the way they 
sounded; placed in that 
order。 
〃No。〃 
I stared; unprehending; into his eyes。 He stared back without apology。 His 
eyes were like 
topaz—hard and clear and very deep。 I felt like I could see into them for 
miles and miles; yet nowhere in 
rheir bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken。 
〃Well; that changes things。〃 I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my 
voice sounded。 It must be 
because I was so numb。 I couldn't realize what he was telling me。 It still 
didn't make any sense。 
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again。 〃Of course; I'll always love 
you in a way。 But what 
happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change。 Because 
I'm tired of pretending 
to be something I'm not; Bella。 I am not human。〃 He looked back; and the icy 
planes of his perfect face 
were not human。 〃I've let this go on much too long; and I'm sorry for that。〃 
〃Don't。〃 My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep 
through me; trickling like 
acid through my veins。 〃Don't do this。〃 
He just stared at me; and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too 
late。 He already had。 
〃You're not good for me; Bella。〃 He turned his earlier words around; and so I 
had no argument。 How 
well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him。 
I opened my mouth to say something; and then closed it again。 He waited 
patiently; his face wiped clean 
of all emotion。 I tried again。 
〃If that's what you want。〃 
He nodded once。 
My whole body went numb。 I couldn't feel anything below the neck。 
〃I would like to ask one favor; though; if that's not too much;〃 he said。 
I wonder what he saw on my face; because something flickered across his own 
face in response。 But; 
before I could identify it; he'd posed his features into the same serene 
mask。 
〃Anything;〃 I vowed; my voice faintly stronger。 
As I watched; his frozen eyes melted。 The gold became liquid again; molten; 
burning down into mine with 
an intensity that was overwhelming。 
〃Don't do anything reckless or stupid;〃 he ordered; no longer detached。 〃Do 
you understand what I'm 
saying?〃 
I nodded helplessly。 
His eyes cooled; the distance returned。 〃I'm thinking of Charlie; of course。 
He needs you。 Take care of 
yourself—for him。〃 
I nodded again。 〃I will;〃 I whispered。 
He seemed to relax just a little。 
〃And I'll make you a promise in return;〃 he said。 〃I promise that this will be 
the last time you'll see me。 I 
won't e back。 I won't put you through anything like this again。 You can go 
on with your life without 
any more interference from me。 It will be as if I'd never existed。〃 
My knees must have started to shake; because the trees were suddenly wobbling。 
I could hear the blood 
pounding faster than normal behind my ears。 His voice sounded farther away。 
He smiled gently。 〃Don't worry。 You're human—your memory is no more than a 
sieve。 Time heals all 
wounds for your kind。〃 
〃And your memories?〃 I asked。 It sounded like there was something stuck in my 
throat; like I was 
choking。 
〃Well〃—he hesitated for a short second—〃I won't forget。 But my kind we're 
very easily distracted。〃 
He smiled; the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes。 
He took a step away from me。 〃That's everything; I suppose。 We won't bother 
you again。〃 
The plural caught my attention。 That surprised me; I would have thought I was 
beyond noticing anything。 
〃Alice isn't ing back;〃 I realized。 I don't know how he heard me—the words 
made no sound—but he 
seemed to understand。 
He shook his head slowly; always watching my face。 
〃No。 They're all gone。 I staved behind to tell you goodbye。〃 
〃Alice is gone?〃 My voice was blank with disbelief。 
〃She wanted to say goodbye; but I convinced her that a clean break would be 
better for you。〃 
I was dizzy; it was hard to concentrate。 His words swirled around in my head; 
and I heard the doctor at 
the hospital in Phoenix; last spring; as he showed me the X…rays。 You can see 
it's a clean break; his 
finger traced along the picture of my severed bone。 That's good。 It will heal 
more easily; more quickly 
。 
I tried to breathe normally。 I needed to concentrate; to find a way out of 
this nightmare。 
〃Goodbye; Bella;〃 he said in the same quiet; peaceful voice。 
〃Wait!〃 I choked out the word; reaching for him; willing my deadened legs to 
carry me forward。 
I thought he was reaching for me; too。 But his cold hands locked around my 
wrists and pinned them to 
my sides。 He leaned down; and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for 
the briefest instant。 My 
eyes closed。 
〃Take care of yourself;〃 he breathed; cool against my skin。 
There was a light; unnatural breeze。 My eyes flas

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