new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第31部分

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my　thoughts。　I　almost　
turned　around；　but　I　hated　to　waste　the　effort　I'd　already　expended。　
The　rhythm　of　my　footsteps　started　to　numb　my　mind　and　my　pain　as　I　trudged　
on。　My　breathing　evened　
out　eventually；　and　I　was　glad　I　hadn't　quit。　I　was　getting　better　at　this　
bushwhacking　thing；　I　could　tell　I　
was　faster。　
I　didn't　realize　quite　how　much　more　efficiently　I　was　moving。　I　thought　I'd　
covered　maybe　four　miles；　
and　I　wasn't　even　starting　to　look　around　for　it　yet。　And　then；　with　an　
abruptness　that　disoriented　me；　I　
stepped　through　a　low　arch　made　by　two　vine　maples—pushing　past　the　chest…
high　ferns—into　the　
meadow。　
It　was　the　same　place；　of　that　I　was　instantly　sure。　I'd　never　seen　another　
clearing　so　symmetrical。　It　was　
as　perfectly　round　as　if　someone　had　intentionally　created　the　flawless　
circle；　tearing　out　the　trees　but　
leaving　no　evidence　of　that　violence　in　the　waving　grass。　To　the　east；　I　could　
hear　the　stream　bubbling　
quietly。　
The　place　wasn't　nearly　so　stunning　without　the　sunlight；　but　it　was　still　
very　beautiful　and　serene。　It　was　
the　wrong　season　for　wildflowers；　the　ground　was　thick　with　tall　grass　that　
swayed　in　the　light　breeze　like　
ripples　across　a　lake。　
It　was　the　same　place　but　it　didn't　hold　what　I　had　been　searching　for。　
The　disappointment　was　nearly　as　instantaneous　as　the　recognition。　I　sank　down　
right　where　I　was；　
kneeling　there　at　the　edge　of　the　clearing；　beginning　to　gasp。　
What　was　the　point　of　going　any　farther？　Nothing　lingered　here。　Nothing　more　
than　the　memories　that　I　
could　have　called　back　whenever　I　wanted　to；　if　I　was　ever　willing　to　endure　
the　corresponding　
pain—the　pain　that　had　me　now；　had　me　cold。　There　was　nothing　special　about　
this　place　without　him。　I　
wasn't　exactly　sure　what　I'd　hoped　to　feel　here；　but　the　meadow　was　empty　of　
atmosphere；　empty　of　
everything；　just　like　everywhere　else。　Just　like　my　nightmares。　My　head　
swirled　dizzily。　
At　least　I'd　e　alone。　I　felt　a　rush　of　thankfulness　as　I　realized　that。　If　
I'd　discovered　the　meadow　with　
Jacob　well；　there　was　no　way　I　could　have　disguised　the　abyss　I　was　plunging　
into　now。　How　could　I　
have　explained　the　way　I　was　fracturing　into　pieces；　the　way　I　had　to　curl　
into　a　ball　to　keep　the　empty　
hole　from　tearing　me　apart？　It　was　so　much　better　that　I　didn't　have　an　
audience。　
And　I　wouldn't　have　to　explain　to　anyone　why　I　was　in　such　a　hurry　to　leave；　
either。　Jacob　would　have　
assumed；　after　going　to　so　much　trouble　to　locate　the　stupid　place；　I　would　
want　to　spend　more　than　a　
few　seconds　here。　But　I　was　already　trying　to　find　the　strength　to　get　to　my　
feet　again；　forcing　myself　out　
of　the　ball　so　that　I　could　escape。　There　was　too　much　pain　in　this　empty　
place　to　bear—I　would　crawl　
away　if　I　had　to。　
How　lucky　that　I　was　alone！　
Alone。　I　repeated　the　word　with　grim　satisfaction　as　I　wrenched　myself　to　my　
feet　despite　the　pain。　At　
precisely　that　moment；　a　figure　stepped　out　from　the　trees　to　the　north；　some　
thirty　paces　away。　
A　dizzying　array　of　emotions　shot　through　me　in　a　second。　The　first　was　
surprise；　I　was　far　from　any　trail　
here；　and　I　didn't　expect　pany。　Then；　as　my　eyes　focused　on　the　motionless　
figure；　seeing　the　utter　
stillness；　the　pallid　skin；　a　rush　of　piercing　hope　rocked　through　me。　I　
suppressed　it　viciously；　fighting　
against　the　equally　sharp　lash　of　agony　as　my　eyes　continued　to　the　face　
beneath　the　black　hair；　the　face　
that　wasn't　the　one　I　wanted　to　see。　Next　was　fear；　this　was　not　the　face　I　
grieved　for；　but　it　was　close　
enough　for　me　to　know　that　the　man　facing　me　was　no　stray　hiker。　
And　finally；　in　the　end；　recognition。　
〃Laurent！〃　I　cried　in　surprised　pleasure。　
It　was　an　irrational　response。　I　probably　should　have　stopped　at　fear。　
Laurent　had　been　one　of　James's　coven　when　we'd　first　met。　He　hadn't　been　
involved　with　the　hunt　that　
followed—the　hunt　where　I　was　the　quarry—but　that　was　only　because　he　was　
afraid；　I　was　protected　
by　a　bigger　coven　than　his　own。　It　would　have　been　different　if　that　wasn't　
the　case—he'd　had　no　
punctions；　at　the　time；　against　making　a　meal　of　me。　Of　course；　he　must　
have　changed；　because　he'd　
gone　to　Alaska　to　live　with　the　other　civilized　coven　there；　the　other　family　
that　refused　to　drink　human　
blood　for　ethical　reasons。　The　other　family　like　but　I　couldn't　let　myself　
think　the　name。　
Yes；　fear　would　have　made　more　sense；　but　all　I　felt　was　an　overwhelming　
satisfaction。　The　meadow　was　
a　magic　place　again。　A　darker　magic　than　I'd　expected；　to　be　sure；　but　magic　
all　the　same。　Here　was　the　
connection　I'd　sought。　The　proof；　however　remote；　that—somewhere　in　the　same　
world　where　I　lived—　
he　did　exist。　
It　was　impossible　how　exactly　the　same　Laurent　looked。　I　suppose　it　was　very　
silly　and　human　to　expect　
some　kind　of　change　in　the　last　year。　But　there　was　something　I　couldn't　
quite　put　my　finger　on　it。　
〃Bella？〃　he　asked；　looking　more　astonished　than　I　felt。　
〃You　remember。〃　I　smiled。　It　was　ridiculous　that　I　should　be　so　elated　because　
a　vampire　knew　my　
name。　
He　grinned。　〃I　didn't　expect　to　see　you　here。〃　He　strolled　toward　me；　his　
expression　bemused。　
〃Isn't　it　the　other　way　around？　I　do　live　here。　I　thought　you'd　gone　to　
Alaska。〃　
He　stopped　about　ten　paces　away；　cocking　his　head　to　the　side。　His　face　was　
the　most　beautiful　face　I'd　
seen　in　what　felt　like　an　eternity。　I　studied　his　features　with　a　strangely　
greedy　sense　of　release。　Here　was　
someone　I　didn't　have　to　pretend　for—someone　who　already　knew　everything　I　
could　never　say。　
〃You're　right；〃　he　agreed。　〃I　did　go　to　Alaska。　Still；　I　didn't　expect　When　
I　found　the　Cullen　place　
empty；　I　thought　they'd　moved　on。〃　
〃Oh。〃　I　bit　my　lip　as　the　name　set　the　raw　edges　of　my　wound　throbbing。　It　
took　me　a　second　to　
pose　myself。　Laurent　waited　with　curious　eyes。　
〃They　did　move　on；〃　I　finally　managed　to　tell　him。　
〃Hmm；〃　he　murmured。　〃I'm　surprised　they　left　you　behind。　Weren't　you　sort　of　a　
pet　of　theirs？〃　His　eyes　
were　innocent　of　any　intended　offense。　
I　smiled　wryly。　〃Something　like　that。〃　
〃Hmm；〃　he　said；　thoughtful　again。　
At　that　precise　moment；　I　realized　why　he　looked　the　same—too　much　the　same。　
After　Carlisle　told　us　
that　Laurent　had　stayed　with　Tanya's　family；　I'd　begun　to　picture　him；　on　the　
rare　occasions　that　I　thought　
of　him　at　all；　with　the　same　golden　eyes　that　the　Cullens—I　forced　the　name　
out；　wincing—had。　That　
all　good　vampires　had。　
I　took　an　involuntary　step　back；　and　his　curious；　dark　red　eyes　followed　the　
movement。　
〃Do　they　visit　often？〃　he　asked；　still　casual；　but　his　weight　shifted　toward　
me。　
〃Lie；〃　the　beautiful　velvet　voice　whispered　anxiously　from　my　memory。　
I　started　at　the　sound　of　his　voice；　but　it　should　not　have　surprised　me。　Was　
I　nor　in　the　worst　danger　
imaginable？　The　motorcycle　was　safe　as　kittens　next　to　this。　
I　did　what　the　voice　said　to　do。　
〃Now　and　again。〃　I　tried　to　make　my　voice　light；　relaxed。　〃The　time　seems　
longer　to　me；　I　imagine。　You　
know　how　they　get　distracted〃　I　was　beginning　to　babble。　I　had　to　work　to　
shut　myself　up。　
〃Hmm；〃　he　said　again。　〃The　house　smelled　like　it　had　been　vacant　for　a　while
〃　
〃You　must　lie　better　than　that；　Bella；〃　the　voice　urged。　
I　tried。　〃I'll　have　to　mention　to　Carlisle　that　you　stopped　by。　He'll　be　sorry　
they　missed　your　visit。〃　I　
pretended　to　deliberate　for　a　second。　〃But　I　probably　shouldn't　mention　it　to
　Edward；　I　suppose—〃　I　
barely　managed　to　say　his　name；　and　it　twisted　my　expression　on　the　way　out；　
ruining　my　bluff　〃—he　has　
such　a　temper　well；　I'm　sure　you　remember。　He's　still　touchy　about　the　whole　
James　thing。〃　I　rolled　my　
eyes　and　waved　one　hand　dismissively；　like　it　was　all　ancient　history；　but　
there　was　an　edge　of　hysteria　to　
my　voice。　I　wondered　if　he　would　recognize　what　it　was。　
〃Is　he　really？〃　Laurent　asked　pleasantly　skeptically。　
I　kept　my　reply　short；　so　that　my　voice　wouldn't　betray　my　panic。　〃Mm…hmm。〃　
Laurent　took　a　casual　step　to　the　side；　gazing　around　at　the　little　meadow。　I　
didn't　miss　that　the　step　
brought　him　closer　to　me。　In　my　head；　the　voice　responded　with　a　low　snarl。　
〃So　how　are　things　working　out　in　Denali？　Carlisle　said　you　were　staying　with　
Tanya？〃　My　voice　was　too　
high。　
The　question　made　him　pause。　〃I　like　Tanya　very　much；〃　he　mused。　〃And　her　
sister　Irina　even　more　
I've　never　stayed　in　one　place　for　so　long　before；　and　I　enjoy　the　advantages；　
the　novelty　of　it。　But；　the　
restrictions　are　difficult　I'm　surprised　that　any　of　them　can　keep　it　up　for　
long。〃　He　smiled　at　me　
conspiratorially。　〃Sometimes　I　cheat。〃　
I　couldn't　swallow。　My　foot　started　to　ease　back；　but　I　froze　when　his　red　
eyes　flickered　down　to　catch　
the　movement。　
〃Oh；〃　I　said　in　a　faint　voice。　〃Jasper　has　problems　with　that；　too。〃　
〃Don't　move；〃　the　voice　whispered。　I　tried　to　do　what　he　instructed。　It　was　
hard；　the　instinct　to　take　flight　
was　nearly　uncontrollable。　
〃Really？〃　Laurent　seemed　interested。　〃Is　that　why　they　left？〃　
〃No；〃　I　answered　honestly。　〃Jasper　is　more　careful　at　home。〃　
〃Yes；〃　Laurent　agreed。　〃I　am；　too。〃　
The　step　forward　he　took　now　was　quite　deliberate。　
〃Did　Victoria　ever　find　you？〃　I　asked；　breathless；　desperate　to　distract　him。　
It　was　the　first　question　that　
popped　into　my　head；　and　I　regretted　it　as　soon　as　the　words　were　spoken。　
Victoria—who　had　hunted　
me　with　James；　and　then　disappeared—was　not　someone　I　wanted　to　think　of　at　
this　particular　moment。　
But　the　question　did　stop　him。　
〃Yes；〃　he　said；　hesitating　on　that　step。　〃I　actually　came　here　as　a　favor　to　
her。〃　He　made　a　face。　〃She　
won't　be　happy　about　this。〃　
〃About　what？〃　I　said　eagerly；　inviting　him　to　continue。　He　was　glaring　into　
the　trees；　away　from　me。　I　
took　advantage　of　his　diversion；　taking　a　furtive　step　back。　
He　looked　back　at　me　and　smiled—the　expression　made　him　look　like　a　black…
haired　angel。　
〃About　me　killing　you；〃　he　answered　in　a　seductive　purr。　
I　staggered　back　another　step。　The　frantic　growling　in　my　head　made　it　hard　to　
hear。　
〃She　wanted　to　save　that　part　for　herself；〃　he　went　on　blithely。　〃She's　sort　
of　p